Things Never To Say To A Depressed Person

• Chin up
• I know how you feel
• You need exercise
• It's all in your head
• Get a different job
• Think positive
• Stop feeling sorry for yourself
• Is it your relationship?
• Look at how lucky you are
• Everyone has problems
• Life is hard
• I'm having a bad day too
• Is it the weather?

Blurred Lines? More Like Patriarchal Zigzags

Have you seen the Robin Thicke video Blurred Lines?
I hope not.
It is misogynistic sexist patriarchal bullshit.
Basically there are lots of half naked women strutting around as men touch them and sing about how they're "good girls" and "animals."
I have to admit I thought the song was catchy and cheery, until I listened properly to the lyrics.
Then my feminist mind went mad.
How DARE these men condone such things.
The video is basically advertising rape, sexual assault, patriarchal actions and negative gender roles of women.
Come on, it's 2013.
If you haven't already, I suggest you watch this video which is a parody of Blurred Lines called 'Defined Lines' made by feminist Law students.

Things Never To Say To Lesbians

• Who's the man and who's the woman?
• Why don't you like penises?
• Why aren't you butch?
• Why do you have long hair?
• Who's the 'man' in bed?
• How do you have sex?
• I can change you
• Maybe you haven't met the right man yet
• How do you know unless you try?
• Do you have a dildo?
• Why have a dildo when you can have the real thing?
• That's why you have short nails...
• Were you a tomboy?
• You'll grow out of it

Patriarchal Expectations Of Women: Shaving Your Legs

Today I shaved my legs.
Yes, I am beginning my post with that sentence.
Today I shaved my legs. Why? Because I wanted to? Not quite.
Because society expects me to. Because if I don't I am labelled 'gross', 'unattractive' and 'unfeminine'.
I could of course leave the hairs on my legs to grow ten miles long, because I'm a lesbian.
And lesbians don't shave their legs do they?
Yes, they do actually.
By shaving my legs I am giving into the patriarchal expectations set upon me by society but I am also kicking the myths about lesbians in the face.
I shave my legs because I want to. Not because I'm a lesbian, not because I'm forced to by society.
However a lot of women do shave their legs because society forces them to.
Turn on your TV and you will discover adverts upon adverts of women smiling as they lather their legs in foam and shave. Every beauty magazine drills it into us that smooth legs are sexy legs. Hairy legs are manly legs. Hairy underarms are for lesbians (and the French) and a hairy 'down there' means you aren't getting any.
But do I want to shave my legs because to me personally it feels nicer? Yes. But is this belief merely a delusion conjured up by societies pressures?
I want to shave my legs, for me, because the media has made me believe I will feel better in myself if I have shaved legs.
Yes, I have written the words 'shaved' and 'legs' too much and they are starting to sound weird in your mind.
Yes, I will continue shaving my legs. But I'm still unsure why.

Common Myths About The Mentally Disordered

• They're all killers
• They're all rapists
• They're rapists and killers
• They're paedophiles
• They are murderers
• It's contagious
• They were abused as a child
• They're dangerous
• Schizophrenics are killers
• Depressives are having a bad day
• Anorexics are looking for attention
• Self-harm is a trend
• Those with OCD all wash their hands too much
• Suicide is the coward's way out

The truth is: 'Depression isn't an act. Self harm isn't a trend. Anorexia isn't a phase. Homosexuality isn't a choice and suicide isn't cowardly.'

Books And Films That Deal With Mental Disorders

Films

• Girl Interrupted
• Sylvia
• It's Kind Of A Funny Story
• Silver Linings Playbook
• My Mad Fat Diary
• The Roommate

Books

• Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
• The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
• It's Kind Of A Funny Story by Ned Vizzini
• Silver Linings Playbook by Matthew Quick
• My Mad Fat Diary by Rae Earl
• Suicide Notes by Michael Thomas Ford
• The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson

My Favourite LGBT Books And Films

I have compiled a list of my favourite LGBT books and films:

Books

• Annie On My Mind by Nancy Garden
• Empress Of The World by Sara Ryan
• Dare, Truth Or Promise by Paula Boock
• Pages For You by Sylvia Brownrigg
• Girl Walking Backwards by Bett Williams
• Kissing Kate by Lauren Myracle
• The Bermudez Triangle by Maureen Johnson
• Down To The Bone by Mayra Lazara Dole
• She Loves You She Loves You Not by Julie-Anne Peters
• Keeping You A Secret by Julie-Anne Peters
• Between Mom and Jo by Julie-Anne Peters
• Luna by Julie-Anne Peters
• Grl2Grl by Julie-Anne Peters
• Rage by Julie-Anne Peters
• But She Is My Student by Kiki Archer
• Instigations by Kiki Archer
• Binding Devotion by Kiki Archer

Films

• Imagine Me And You
• My Summer Of Love
• I Can't Think Straight
• Better Than Chocolate
• Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit
• Lip Service
• Sugar Rush
• Loving Annabelle
• Lost And Delirious
• DEBS
• But I'm A Cheerleader
• The Kids Are All Right
• And Then Came Lola
• Priscilla Queen Of The Desert
• FIT
• Fingersmith
• Tipping The Velvet
• The Secret Diaries Of Miss Anne Lister

Things Never To Say To A Gay Person

• Why is there a gay pride, there's no straight pride?
• When did you decide to be gay?
• Who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship?
• How do you have sex?
• Do you hate men (to lesbians)?
• Do you hate women (to gay men)?
• Were you abused as a child?
• Why can't you just be straight?
• I'm not homophobic but...
• I have a gay friend, so I'm not homophobic
• I don't hate gay people but...
• The bible says it's wrong
• You're going to hell
• Is it a phase?
• It's a phase
• I'll support you with this phase you're going through
• You'll get over it
• Is it contagious?

The Perfect Body

The porn industry has corrupted society's view on what is a 'normal' female body.
Women, and even younger girls are having cosmetic surgery to alter their bodies, especially their breasts and private parts.
Most porn stars have had cosmetic surgery to 'perfect' their bodies. They have hairless, smooth vaginas and huge round breasts.
Girls do not need the 'perfect' body, they probably have the 'perfect' body, but just don't believe they do.
You need to learn to love yourself before anyone else can love you.

Eleanor Longden

For those who do not hear voices, it can be hard to understand what it must be like to do so. Eleanor Longden, a talented university student and schizophrenia sufferer explains perfectly what it is like to hear voices. She was starting her first year at university when she began hearing a voice, and from then on her life changed forever. She was thrust into the deepest depths of hell. She was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and tossed aside by the psychiatrists.   
Now she is mostly recovered, not through medication but through therapy and self-belief and is raising awareness for those who hear voices.
Read this Daily Mail article on Eleanor Longden's psychosis.

Miley Cyrus' Inappropriate Dancing

So everyone is raving about Miley Cyrus' very inappropriate dancing. You can see it here if you've not already seen it. Basically she's just pouncing around waving a giant blow up plastic finger and pointing it at her womanly parts.
So, she's gone from a child star playing Hannah Montana to an inappropriate attention seeking embarrassment.
As my friend Matthew pointed out - other things happened at the VMA 2013.
Macklemore and Ryan Lewis won award for their activist video/song about marriage equality and equal love. Everyone is focusing on the negatives. The trashy bits. Not the worthwhile facts. The positives.

Lesbian Problems

Not All Killers

A paranoid schizophrenic murderer escaped from a psychiatric hospital near me lately and there is more stigma now surrounding schizophrenics. They are not all killers. There is a stigma attached to schizophrenics and this latest news just adds to the stigma. Some schizophrenics are murderers, so are some postmen or nurses. Anyone can be a murderer. Those who are mentally ill have more risk of BEING hurt by others than hurting OTHERS.

Mental Health: Helpful Sites

http://www.mind.org.uk/
Mind - a mental health charity - their website offers support for those living with mental illness and their family/friends
http://www.rethink.org/
A mental health charity
http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/
A charity campaigning to end the stigma and discrimination surrounding mental illness
http://www.samaritans.org/
A suicide hotline
http://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
The Mental Health Charity
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/index.html
A lifesaving piece of information

Crazy But Talented

There seems to be a slight link between insanity and creativity. Many famous writers, poets and artists were mentally ill, such as Sylvia Plath, Virginia Woolf and Vincent Van Gogh. There are not only the creative but the Mathematically minded such as John Forbes Nash who is a famous Mathematician who suffers from schizophrenia.
Is there such a link? Do the mentally ill have hidden talents or the talented have hidden illnesses?
Apparently schizophrenics are usually rather artistic and creative and people who suffer with bipolar disorder, when on a high, can be very creative and motivated.
Those with depression can scribble out a poem that informs even the happiest of minds just how bleak life can be. So it's not all cheery.
But there seems to be some kind of link between the mentally ill and the talented.
I'm not saying I am talented though.

Other Blogs I Read And Recommend

Below are some blogs that I read, whether be it from Wordpress or Blogger:
http://loopylonelyandlost.wordpress.com/
A blog about mental illness (by a cyclothymia sufferer)
http://whatalifewealllive.blogspot.co.uk/
A blog about life
http://www.kaelynandlucy.com/
A blog about a long distance lesbian couple's relationship
http://borderlinebipolarblog.wordpress.com/2013/06/
A blog about mental illness (especially borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder)

Stephen Fry

Stephen Fry is an amazing person I think.
I can identify with him in 2 main ways. He is gay and he has mental health issues. As am/do I.
I've just started reading his blog, and one post about loneliness caught my eye. Fry comments on how he is often lonely, which for such a famous person seems absurd. He says he does not like his own company. Which is also absurd because he is an amazing person.
Stephen uploaded a video to YouTube about how he is proud to be proud to be gay (no that's not a typo, he is PROUD to be PROUD OF BEING GAY).
He says he will never apologise for being gay as why should anyone apologise for love?
Last month there was hype about Fry attempting suicide via overdose. I am so glad he did not succeed, as the world would be at huge loss without such a great man.
I will leave you with this quote from Stephen Fry - one of the greatest celebrities their is:
“At least 260 species of animal have been noted exhibiting homosexual behaviour but only one species of animal ever, so far as we know, has exhibited homophobic behaviour — and that’s the human being. So ask which is really natural.”
Stephen Fry

Society's View On Women

Society has a warped view on women.
It views them as sex objects or possessions.
Women have so many expectations to live up to. They have to have perfect hair, perfect make-up and smooth hair-free skin.
The constant pressure can cause mental illnesses such as eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
Why are women forced to be so 'perfect'?
Teenage girls as young as thirteen are wearing make-up, dyeing their hair and shaving their legs.
They are CHILDREN not WOMEN.
Not that the perception of men is completely fine, but generally men are not stereotyped or labelled as much as women are.
Society should accept people the way they are, not shove them into a box.

Just 'OCD'

With BBC Three's 'It's A Mad World' season being on lately, I have come across a lot of prejudice against OCD.
People use it the context of it being a mild psychiatric disorder, when in fact it can completely ruin people's lives.
OCD controls my life. I do not currently control my OCD.
OCD can be as bad as schizophrenia or other severe mental disorders, just because someone has OCD, does not mean they are OK.
OCD is not something EVERYONE has or something that people can just 'grow out of'. Yes they can get better: but it takes time and effort.
The stigma surrounding OCD is terrible.
Not everyone with OCD is overly hygienic (not that they're unhygienic) nor do they all hoard things. There are many types of OCD. My OCD is more in my mind that some types of OCD. For example: I 'go over' objects with my mind, like a checklist rather than touching certain things or washing my hands hundreds of times a day.
STOP THE STIGMA surrounding OCD.


If you or anyone you know is affected by OCD please visit your GP or go to http://www.ocduk.org/ for more information.

Understanding Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a serious anxiety-related condition where a person experiences frequent intrusive and unwelcome obsessional thoughts, often followed by repetitive compulsions, impulses or urges.

The illness affects as many as 12 in every 1000 people (1.2% of the population) from young children to adults, regardless of gender or social or cultural background. In fact, it can be so debilitating and disabling that the World Health Organisation (WHO) has actually ranked OCD in the top ten of the most disabling illnesses of any kind, in terms of lost earnings and diminished quality of life.

Based on current estimates for the UK population, there are potentially around 741,504 people living with OCD at any one time.   But it is worth noting that a disproportionately high number, 50% of all these cases, will fall into the severe category, with less than a quarter being classed as mild cases.

OCD presents itself in many guises, and certainly goes far beyond the common perception that OCD is merely hand washing or checking light switches. In general, OCD sufferers experience obsessions which take the form of persistent and uncontrollable thoughts, images, impulses, worries, fears or doubts. They are often intrusive, unwanted, disturbing, significantly interfere with the ability to function on a day-to-day basis as they are incredibly difficult to ignore. People with OCD often realise that their obsessional thoughts are irrational, but they believe the only way to relieve the anxiety caused by them is to perform compulsive behaviours, often to prevent perceived harm happening to themselves or, more often than not, to a loved one.


REMEMBER: YOU CONTROL YOUR ILLNESS, YOUR ILLNESS DOES NOT CONTROL YOU.

Realising You Are Gay

When I was twelve I realised I was gay and I know how scary it is to realise this, and how you wish you had someone there to talk to, but sometimes there isn’t. I am writing this post for all those teenagers out there who are discovering who they are and need a bit of help with it.

The world has changed for the better since I was twelve, which wasn’t that long ago, now that gay marriage is approved, equality seems to finally be becoming something real.

I wish I had had something to help me in my two confused years. Between the ages of twelve and fourteen I came to terms with my sexuality and I vividly remember googling ‘coming out stories’ and hungrily reading what I found to assure myself I was not the only one feeling this way. When you realise you are different, you are gay, the world suddenly appears alien. Everything you thought and had planned might have changed, your parent’s plans for you will have to change, your life as you know it has changed forever, you are suddenly this alien person, with alien feelings.

Realising you are gay

For me this revelation came when I was twelve years old. It was a bit of a shock but it happened when I gave my friend a Christmas card and she smiled at me, and that was it, I was in love, I knew I was gay. Also the other indicators were my feelings towards female celebrities. When watching films or just TV in general I noticed that I felt attracted to the women, not the men. When my friends discussed guys I just sat there bored, waiting for the subject to change.

You might have known you were gay since you were born, or very young. It may have been something that you just knew. You might discover this fact about yourself when you are a child, or a teenager, or even an adult.

Some people don’t even realise they are gay, they get a partner of the opposite sex and get married and have children and it is then that realise. Some people hide who they are and get married and have children and then find they cannot cope hiding their feelings and come out then. A lot of gay people find that they realise it when they are teenager because that is when most people discover their sexuality, during puberty, when your feelings are starting to make some sense (even though it doesn’t feel like it).

Accepting you are gay is tough. You might not want to believe it. You might be from a strict religious homophobic family, or you might have two mums. Whatever your circumstance you will probably find realising and accepting you are gay is a scary thing to do.

Whatever triggers you to realise you are gay is something you will remember for the rest of your life. It could be an innocent crush on someone of the same sex, or a poster of a celebrity that makes you stop and think, or a TV advert showing a girl in a bikini that makes your head spin

You have to accept yourself before other people can accept you.

If you want other people to accept who you are you have to have accepted it yourself first.

If you are unhappy about the fact that you are gay, this is only a natural reaction. Life will be different and generally a little bit harder, but it’s not all doom and gloom, you can have a civil partnership, maybe get married soon, you have basically the same rights as straight people, it is no longer illegal to be gay like it used to be before 1967.

There are loads of famous celebrities who are gay and living happy full lives and there are masses of ordinary people who are living full and happy lives who just happen to be gay.

Although there are negative attachments like more chance of suffering from mental illness, bullying and isolation from society and fewer rights, being gay is not as depressing as you might be thinking it is. You get to go to gay pride and wave a rainbow coloured flag listening to Gloria Gaynor’s ‘I Am Who I Am’.

This post was featured on When Sally Met Sally on 29th August 2013.

http://www.whensallymetsally.co.uk/features/blogs/coming-out-gay-lesbian-bisexual-teenagers-advice

Gay Marriage Is Legal

Yesterday - Wednesday 17th July 2013 was a historic day. The same-sex marriage bill passed and the Queen of England granted it. Now marriages could be taking place by summer 2014. I, along with thousand of other people, am so happy to have experienced this change. I can soon legally marry, just like everyone else. All the battles myself and others fought have now paid off. This is a magnificent piece of news for not just LGBT people, but all those who believe in equal love.
David Cameran says 'I am so proud we have had the courage to make love equal.': http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/07/18/exclusive-i-am-so-proud-we-have-had-the-courage-to-make-love-equal-by-david-cameron/
The Queen of England gives Royal asset to the same-sex marriage bill 2013: http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2013/07/17/breaking-equal-marriage-bill-for-england-and-wales-given-royal-assent-and-is-now-law/

Abortion

Abortion is a very sensitive subject.
Some people believe it is wrong, it is the killing of human life, and it is murder. These people are pro-life.
Other people believe it is okay to abort a foetus, that it is after all just a foetus, not yet a baby. These people are pro-choice.
I am pro-choice, yet I'm not okay with it.
I think abortion is very sad. The killing of cells that have the potential to lead to human life, however it is sometimes necessary.
For example: when a woman has been raped, it is morally wrong to make her keep the baby. After all, when she sees the baby's face, won't it just remind her of her attacker?
When teenagers fall pregnant irresponsibly, I believe abortion is necessary. The baby may not have a very good quality life living with a mother who has not got her life sorted out (however it may have a perfectly good life).
Although contraception is necessary and there are almost no excuses, with the wide range of contraception around these days, to fall pregnant.
Abortion should not be done swiftly and without thought. It is a sensitive and emotional subject. It is not killing of life, just destroying the possibility of life.
There should, and is, a limit on when a woman can have an abortion. After a certain amount of time the foetus is a baby and then an abortion should not be carried out, as this is plain murder.
But when the 'baby' is just a mass of cells, I do not believe this is murder.
Women should have the right to their own body and their own decisions. Abortion is a personal choice, not the killing of life. But choose wisely, as you are still destroying the potential for life. I am pro-choice but I do not wish to promote or glorify abortion in any shape or form.

Chin Up: Depression

A depressed person cannot put their chin up and just be happy. You can say to them "But you're loved, you have a job, a good life, family and friends" and that won't change anything. Someone who is down because of a job loss, bereavement or relationship problems has a reason to be down and they are down not depressed.
Depression does not care whether you are ugly or pretty, fat or thin, poor or rich. 
As Stephen Fry claims, mood is like the weather. It can change, it will get better, it cannot be controlled.
Depression is the thunderstorm, the rain, the snow. Happiness is the sunshine. 
Bipolar disorder/manic depression is the two extremes of moods. The dark dismal depression, where everything is rubbish and life is not worth living, and then the mania - when you are filled with thoughts and ideas, you believe you can solve the world's problems, become famous, write a book, you have loads of energy and cannot stay still, your mood elevates.
There is no point in getting annoyed at a depressed person for being depressed.
You wouldn't get annoyed at someone for having heart disease or cancer. There's no reason for someone to have cancer, just like there is no reason for someone to have depression. They just do.

                                         Stephen Fry talking about bipolar disorder

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve to never ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it’s one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you’ll ever do.
-Stephen Fry

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/08/23/best-and-worst-things-depression-help_n_3802904.html

Writer's Block

Writer's block is that terrible decline in inspiration and sometime sanity that writers face.
No-one knows what causes it and no-one knows exactly how to beat it. Here are some tips, from me and from another source.
Then again, just writing a book is a tough enough process, without the block that gets in the way. How can I write a book? This is such a commonly asked question. I may have found the answer....kind of.
Nowadays authors are turning to self publishing rather than traditional publishing, and e-books rather than paper books...is this the way forward?

How to beat writer's block

• Get out the house/wherever you are and see a different sight, this can spark inspiration
• Try reading
• Listen to music
• Do some painting or drawing
• Read lyrics
• Change your writing style
• Read some old work/writing
• Browse the internet
• Read blogs like this one.

Thank You

I wanted to say 'Thank You' to a certain blogger who posted a post about...little old me.
I want to express how amazing this person is. She is caring and listens to other people's problems all the time. And she is so so optimistic, unlike me.

Who wants to be normal?

I know a girl, an inspiring girl. She has been through so much, but she's still here today with only the scars remaining. Every day she is fighting an ongoing battle with herself. She has diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illnesses which prevent her from living a normal life, but normal is overrated.
If she had a normal life, she would not be defending LBGT rights and raising awareness of mental health problems. This girl, day after day, is fighting for a better cause - humanity. I believe that we can learn from her because even when life throws the worst situations at her, she picks herself up and uses her experiences to help others. That is a true inspiration.
Please read her blog, she is an enlightening person.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Keep blogging. You know who you are.

 

 

Size Zero And Anorexia Nervosa

The fact that models are basically all size zero, which is size four in UK sizes, is a disgusting and shocking phenomenon. They are not real women, real women are not size zero.
The growing number of eating disorders in teenagers, especially girls, is an unhealthy and stark truth.
Many girls start to lose weight because they think they are perhaps a little bit overweight, but this escalates and they believe they are fat. This can lead to the eating disorder anorexia nervosa, which is serious and life threatening. Anorexia usually is rather silent and secretive to begin with and families probably will not notice their loved ones weight loss. But then as the weight loss becomes more drastic and noticeable and the young person begins to start purchasing laxatives and making themselves vomit to rid themselves of the food they've eaten, the disorder can be noticed. However it is not always noticed. Some girls can become extremely unwell and their families do not even notice, because they are hiding it so well.
This post is written in an attempt to expose some of the habits that people with anorexia engage in, in order to help families catch the disorder before it is too late. The sick truth is, some women want to be size zero and go on a quest to be size zero.

Anorexia: The Facts

• Anorexia is a very serious eating disorder that occurs mainly in young women from the age of 15 to 18, it is defined as the loss of extreme weight through dieting, the person suffering from anorexia will eat very little often actually making themselves sick after eating or use laxatives in striving towards losing weight.
• It is a psychological disorder which once taken a serious hold on the person that person will actually convince themselves they are fat, no matter how much weight they lose, they will still see themselves as being overweight.
• About every 4 in 10 people who have deep seated anorexia and suffer from this illness will actually make a full recovery and others do improve, 3 out of 10 will however continue to suffer from major long term illness.
• If not recognised and help sought 15 percent of anorexia suffers will die from the disease within 20 years of its appearance.

Anorexia: The Habits

• The cup trick: Using a coloured cup or mug that is not see through, the person spits the food out of their mouth into the cup when pretending to drink
• Hiding food: in various places - sleeves, pockets, even down their bra
• Purging: purchasing laxatives, making themselves vomit
• Exercising obsessively: even in their rooms, where it is hidden

Discrimination Is Still Around

                                
Post originally written on 13th August 2011

I have just watched the BBC DVD 'The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister' about a lesbian living in the 1800s and it shocks me as to how people were so judgemental and would not let her live her own life.
Gays and lesbians are becoming widely accepted in the UK, however what about the people living in the countries where it is still illegal?

 

Don't Call Me Crazy

So a new programme began this week. 'Don't Call Me Crazy' follows the lives of teenagers in an inpatient psychiatric hospital in the UK, suffering from various mental illnesses. The unit - The McGuinness unit, has now been replaced by a brand new modern unit called Junction 17.
After staying at one myself, for 2 weeks, I found this programme rather interesting, yet also sad. Sad because of the illnesses the young people have and sad because of the way they are treated.
My stay at a psychiatric unit was a rather positive experience.
The people there were not restrained in front of other young people, which they are in the McGuinness unit.
One of the patients who suffered from depression, anorexia and also self harmed, refused to be weighed and eat. At the unit I was at, the young people had to eat, and did. They were weighed. They were supervised a lot of the time to ensure they were not exercising and moving around, especially twitching and fidgeting slightly to burn off calories. They went to the toilet and were not allowed to flush the loo until the staff had checked there was not sick down the toilet, which is a way of purging (vomiting).
On the positive and motivational side, one of the patients who suffered with acute OCD told the camera how "OCD does not define her as a person."
The patients raised awareness of the stigma surrounding mental illness and shared personal insight into their minds. All in all it was a very worthwhile programme. It was widely talked about. I read this article in The Guardian which advertised and promoted the programme which raises awareness surrounding mental health.

Gay Myths

I found two photos on Facebook that convey the myths surrounding gay people, I uploaded a YouTube video of me reading them out as I think it is important to stop the misunderstanding surrounding homosexuality.
The picture below shows the myths people believe about gay people that absolutely are NOT true.
We don't want to sleep with EVERY woman if we are a lesbian or EVERY man if we are a gay man, just like straight people don't want to sleep with EVERYONE of the opposite sex.
We can have children, not 'naturally', obviously, but with the help of science or adoption agencies.
We can have normal monogamous relationships and are not all promiscuous.
We don't hate the opposite sex, we don't all wear leather and feathers. We are not out to convert your children, as converting someone to being gay or straight is impossible, as sexuality is no choice. It's neither a phase nor a choice and we don't like kids, we aren't paedophiles, we are functioning members of society with loving healthy adult relationships.
We cannot be cured with any amount of praying etc, as it is not a sin to be gay.
We don't need to sleep with a member of the opposite sex or meet a lovely member of the opposite sex to turn straight as this is impossible. We don't flaunt our homosexuality nor do we cause AIDS. In many gay relationships there are two butch men or two girly women, THERE IS NO 'MALE' AND 'FEMALE'. We can still be religious.

Lack Of Mental Health Awareness And Support

There is a serious lack of support for people suffering with psychiatric illnesses.
There is little awareness too, for the conditions which affect millions of people around the world.
Discrimination should not exist in the year 2013. Or even in the year 1913 or 1813.
Mental illness is just a core part of being a human. It is hereditary, it runs in families.
I heard the awful story of a poor 21 year-old woman who suffered from depression and was feeling suicidal, so told her college who rang the police. The police found no-where safe and secure for her to go other than the police station, so she spent the night in a cell.
Mental illness is not a crime and therefore the poor woman should NOT have been treated like a criminal and put anywhere near criminals.
People NEED to be educated on mental illness...

Reading

I have always loved reading, what better thing is there to do?
You can escape from your current world and live in another for a brief period of time.
I began devouring (not literally!) Jacqueline Wilson's novels when I was a child and they led me onto Anne Cassidy's teenage thrillers, Cathy Cassidy's children's rom-com/domestic novels and then onto Julie-Anne Peters's LGBT novels (when I realised I was gay and was sick of reading teen romances about girls falling for boys!)
I have several books that once I had finished I never thought I'd read another as good:

-Before I Go To Sleep by S.J Watson
-Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult
-Sugar Rush and Sweet by Julie Burchill
-Pages For You by Sylvia Brownrigg
-Girl Walking Backwards by Bett Williams
-Handle With Care by Jodi Picoult
-The Pact by Jodi Picoult
-The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

I highly recommend all the above reads, if you click on the title of the novel above you will get a link to purchase it on Amazon.co.uk. They are amazing novels and really grabbed me, these authors are also amazing and so inspirational. Read my post about Sylvia Plath and her novel The Bell Jar.

Self Harm

Self Harm is a precarious topic. No-one knows exactly why one self harms, for there are many reasons.
The most common are:

• Relief of stress
• Self punishment
• To gain a feeling of control
• To show externally the pain they feel internally

I self harmed for all the above reasons. I thought it was a good way of coping. It wasn't hurting anyone else, it didn't cause serious damage and it worked. However it scarred, I have scars. Am I proud of them? No.

Am I proud to have gotten through what I did? Yes.

Every scar has a story and a reason. The bad day, the break up, the day I hated myself, was stressed, depressed, felt alone, angry.

Please try not to self harm: it only resorts in long term harm and permanent scars. You don't want to be reminded of your bad times every time you look down at your arms.

Don't start cutting other areas of your body as a way of concealing the fact you are self harming. Just because no-one can see it, you are still doing it. Just because you feel pain, doesn't mean you deserve to. You are stronger, better and more beautiful than the demons of self harm. You are not alone, ever.

Tips for stopping self harming:

• Instead of cutting use an elastic band to ping against your arm, this causes pain but does no long term damage
• Hold ice cubes on your skin to create pain but no permanent damage
• Listen to a sad or happy song, get your feelings out by singing or dancing
• Write a diary or blog
• Talk to someone

Break Ups

Break ups hurt so badly.
When you think you've met your soulmate and it ends, that is agony. Maybe soulmates don't exist, but I like to think they do.
Everything happens for a reason, so break ups must do and no matter how agonising they are at first, HANG IN THERE, and things will improve, because they can't be worse than suffering the throes of heartbreak!
Being the dumped one sucks. You feel ther's more to say but the other person has already ended it. You lose control. You are left miserable in your own stagnant and self pitying waters.
But the dumpee also suffers. They feel guilty, possibly trapped, maybe regretful. They had their reasons but perhaps they were unsure what do do. Or how to do it. The bottom line is: break ups hurt everyone. But they are a part of life - life is full of cracks and breaks, your heart will mend eventually.

Inspring Quotes

General
Live life to the full.
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.

LGBT
"I think the best day will be when we no longer talk about being gay or straight...
It's not a gay wedding, it's just a wedding...
It's not a gay marriage, it's just a marriage."
- P!nk

"I don't consider myself just an ally to the LBGT community, I consider myself your family. And so, I'm doing what we all do with our families - I'm loving you, I'm supporting you, I completely accept you as who you are."
- Anne Hathaway

"You don't have to be gay to be a supporter, you just have to be human."
- Daniel Radcliffe

"It's insane that civil rights are being denied to people in this day and age. It's embarrassing, and it's heartbreaking. It goes without saying that I'm completely in support of gay marriage. In 10 years we'll be ashamed that this was an issue."
- Chris Evans

"For me personally, it is important for me to go ahead and affirm that I think same-sex couples should be able to get married."
- Barack Obama

"No sex is wrong, if love is in it."
- Marilyn Monroe

Holidays

We're all going on a summer holiday.
Sun, sea, sand.
I get too excited about going and too sad going home. The promise of a holiday motivates me, keeps me going, gives me something to look forward to, the build up is amazingly excitement. 
Then the few days before all I can think about is the incoming holiday. The vacation  I pack, excitedly, and dream of sun. Then the airport journey is exciting, getting there, being there, just the promise of sun-kissed skies soon. Wondering where everyone is going, the excitement in the air.
The holiday itself is like a dream, unreal. It is too good to be true.
The journey home is so awful, I cry and cry, I know I am lucky to have been but it doesn't change my depression over the fact that the holiday is over.
When I am finally home, I cry for weeks. It is stupid.
Holidays are the best time of my life. I live for them.
What can beat a holiday after all?

"DEAR GRANDMA..." WHEN RELATIVES DON'T GET WHY BEING LGBT IS OK

"DEAR GRANDMA..." WHEN RELATIVES DON'T GET WHY BEING LGBT IS OK

Victoria Munro (17) is unhappy about the fact her Grandma is uncomfortable with her being gay. She's written a letter to her, trying to make her understand why being LGBT is not something to be ashamed of, and why she should be happy for her. Tori's been kind enough to share her letter with us... We'll let you know how her Gran responds! Wish her luck!

Victoria Munro

Both my grandma and my father are quite homophobic. My paternal grandma was born in 1930 thus giving her different views and beliefs to most people nowadays. When she discovered, via my dad, that I was gay she didnt speak to me for some time. When she did it was never about my sexuality and if the topic came up she would crinkle up her mouth and not say a word. I wrote this letter to give her insight into what being gay means and to educate her ignorant beliefs with the simple truth, that love is love.

Dear Grandma Edna, the other day when I was lying awake in bed I had the idea to write you this letter. I know three years ago, Dad told you I was gay, and we have not spoken about that since. I wanted to tell you how I feel so that you have a better understanding of what my life is like at times. I have known I’m gay since I was 12 and it is NOT a phase. Also, I did NOT choose to be gay - when does anyone choose their sexuality? They don’t. No, I simply began falling for people but I realised it was girls I liked not boys. Gay people have always been around, it is just that in your generation people did not admit to it because it was still not legal and they would be stigmatised, beaten and verbally abused. Now that it is legal to literally ‘be yourself’ a lot more gay people are coming out. You may not be happy about it but I do not want to live a lie and be unhappy for the rest of my life. I’d much rather admit to being who I am and get on with my life. I think that as long as I am happy, my family should not mind. I am not ashamed about who I am, it is me, I am part of the minority, but that does not make me a freak. I am human, I have feelings, why should I be put down for something I did not and would not choose? At the end of the day, I am going to marry a woman and I am hopefully going to be in love and happy - and what is so bad about that?
None of the above is intended in a rude, sarcastic or scrutinising manner, I just wanted to share my feelings with you.
Lots of love
Your granddaughter
Victoria
xxxxx

About the author: Victoria Munro (17) is a writer and LGBT activist. She has published two books: Kiss Chase (for 15+ readers); and Silver Lining (a story for 11+ readers). She recently wrote a letter to the MP David Burrowes about his voting record on LGBT issues, which has been published in Pink News and When Sally Met Sally. Read Victoria's blog here: http://insanityandequality.blogspot.co.uk/

Article from When Sally Met Sally

Book review: The Bell Jar (WARNING SPOILERS)

DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU HAVE YET TO READ 'THE BELL JAR'

Perhaps the most obscure book I have read.

Focusing around the character Esther Greenwood, a troubled young woman looking for her place in the world, she has acquired a place at a college to do a scholarship away from home, and begins it well, enjoying herself and seeing her almost-boyfriend, however this falls through when she becomes depressed and attempts suicide so therefore is taken away to a mental institute after living at home with her mother for some time.

The ending is ambiguous, as the novel closes on the review of Esther's state of mind and the decision regarding whether she will be released from the hospital.

The book contains themes of virginity, mental illness, depression, suicide, writing as a profession, romance, friendship, family and love. So it covers a lot and lots of people of all walks of life can identify with Esther. It moved me, I cried with Esther, knowing some of her personality and experiences were Plath's too, as this is a semi-autobiographical account of Plath's life. I recommend this book. Highly. Every girl should read it. Every human, actually.

                            A girl's analytical review of the novel.

Sylvia Plath

Sylvia, Sylvia, Sylvia. What can I say?
Sylvia Plath was an amazing woman and after watching the film 'Sylvia', my admiration of her just grew. I was appalled at the way Ted Hughes treated her: affairs, infidelity and broken promises. She needed love and security.
I was bewitched by the film 'Sylvia' and saw it twice in one day. Partly because I love Gwyneth Paltrow but mainly because it's an amazing film portraying an even more amazing woman.
Plath was clearly always mentally unstable, from the time she met Hughes to her death in 1963. She told him many a times of her failed suicide attempts: an overdose, attempted drowning. When she discovers Hughes is repeatedly betraying her trust and cheating on her she becomes more and more ill until she cannot cope anymore and on February 11th 1963 she committed suicide by putting her head in the oven. 
In her life she wrote some outstanding poems, such as Daddy. She also wrote her only novel The Bell Jar. The book centres around Esther Greenwood, a troubled young lady trying to find her place in the world. 
The novel was semi-autobiographical and portrayed many events which also paralleled Plath's life.
Sylvia Plath was unwell and sadly did not get the help she needed and deserved. Her intense poetry on the theme of death conveys her deteriorating mental stability and suicidal ideation. 
I don't know what is was about Plath's novel that captured me, left me pining for more of her works. I read The Bell Jar in a matter of days and it stayed with me long after I finished it. I may re-read it, especially after reading an article on one woman's permanent adoration of the novel.
Plath had two children. Her daughter, Frieda Hughes is alive today and identifies as a writer and poet, her son, Nicholas Highes was a fisheries biologist known as an expert in stream salmonid ecology, however he hanged himself in 2009 after suffering with depression.

Plath will be remembered forever for her talent and beauty inside and out. Her journals are available to read, which gives detailed insight into her emotions and experiences.

Poetry: Every Day

Every Day

Every day

The world awakes

A billion people

Continue their lives

Every day

Someone dies

If you listen carefully

You’ll hear their cries

Every day

A baby is born

Given a name

As they sleep and yawn

Every day

A child is bullied

Scared and alone

He sobs on the floor

Every day

Two people get married

Declare their love

And walk up the aisle

Every day

A mother is beaten

By her husband

Who she once trusted and loved

Every day

Someone’s wishes are broken

As they break down

On a cold stone step

Every day

Is someone’s bad day

Their life won’t go right

They feel useless and worthless

Every day

Is the greatest day of someone’s lives

They go to bed happy

And smile as they sleep

Every day

Someone’s heart is broken

Its’ torn in two

As they watch their partner walk away

Every day

Someone goes on a date

Keeping their eye on the time

They don’t want to be late

Every day

Is someone’s last day in this world

But if they knew that

They might live it differently

Every day

Someone is diagnosed

With a terminal illness

They sink to the floor

In a puddle of a fear

Every day

Someone has their first kiss

They dance home in a trance

Replay that moment

A thousand times in their mind

Every day

Good rules out the bad

Evil defeats the glory

Pain and love collide

Every day

Death consumes another innocent person

And a tiny baby is wrapped in a blanket

Every day

Certain things happen

The dice of fate

Lands on each of us

It determines our futures

And alters our lives

Decides who to kill

And lets the rest survive

Every day

A new adventure starts

A story is told

As the day evolves

Every day

The sun shines

And a billion people

Live their lives.