What Do You Have To Do To Get Help?

I really don’t know what you have to do to get help? How half dead you need to be, or dead.

I have Borderline Personality Disorder. Something that makes mental health professionals shiver when they hear. They can’t treat it, there’s no set medication for it. There’s no proof hospitalisation helps it. But what about when you are in a crisis, where do you go then?

I was and have been in a crisis recently and had an appointment with my care coordinator but her lips were moving all I could hear were the 4 voices in my head telling me to stab her. Obviously I didn’t want to so I said I needed the loo and ran away to the nearest railway crossing where I sat on the train tracks like a nutter. The train stopped as it saw me in time and I ashamedly climbed over the boundaries. I was sectioned by the police and taken to a 136 suite an hour away. I was kept there overnight in a prison cell like room only to be told after the assessment I wasn’t ‘psychotic’ enough or I had capacity so I didn’t meet the criteria to be sectioned. So I was sent home with no follow up support. And that night I cut myself and ended up in the general where I was sent home again.

What is going on? I have been nearly hit by a train and I still don’t meet criteria for inpatient help.

It feels like people with BPD are being ignored, let down and mistreated. I am currently in a low episode and feel like overdosing or cutting. What do I do? Who do I speak to? I want to hold down a good job but I’m sick of feeling low and not knowing when I will do.

BPD patients are recommended not to be institutionalised but what do we do in a crisis, how do we get help? What more do you want from us!?