How it feels: A sensory overload, depersonalisation derealisation
disorder
Everything is too much. Too bright, too loud, too sharp round
the edges and the only thing I can do is go in a dark room and shut my eyes. I
am spaced out, not myself, in a dream and nothing feels real. Writing this the
words blur into each other and pierce at my skin. I haven’t been able to watch
TV or read properly in months now, due to anxiety and the anxiety pill I used
to take for it doesn’t work because I’ve got myself tolerant to it so it doesn’t
work anymore. I write this after crawling round my flat shielding myself from inanimate
objects that feel like a threat. Dissociation is something I’ve got used to in
my life, I’ve experienced it for years, but lately it’s got so bad I don’t know
if I’m awake or sleep. Let me go and lie down in a dark room until this passes.
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