Extreme Mood Swings: Sudden Depressive Episode: My Experience

Low episode....if you can call it that. I don't know how to describe it. It came over all of a sudden, out of the blue like a dark cloud on a sunny day. Suddenly I want to be dead, to sleep, to feel nothing. I feel nothing, but a painful kind of nothing, not sadness, this isn't sadness. This is something more.
It is the BLACK DOG. It is depression. It is a depressive episode. I don't know how long it will last, hopefully a few hours, not days, not weeks, or months, or years.
I am stuck in treacle, I can't move, even typing these words is too much. The light is too bright. I want to be in the dark in a fetal position, under a blanket, warm, away from the world.
What do I do? Do I give in to the demon telling me I am pathetic and better off dead and find a way, in this safe, restricted envrionment, to kill myself? Do I go to sleep? Do I take a sedative? Do I read a book, but how do I read when words don't make sense and they just move around in order. Do I listen to music? But sad songs make me cry and happy songs annoy me.
Do I lie on my bed staring into thin air and let the feeling pass?
Chocolate. Books. Dogs. Music. Things I love. Right now, chocolate is poison, books are annoying, dogs are ugly and music is too loud, too stimulating.
I will have to ride the wave....an emotion can only last for so long, so I have been told, so I will ride the wave....it is at it's peak, but it will dip, it will come crashing down, back to the shore.
I will wash up on the sand and the sun will shine again and life will be worth living.
These are the days, the hours, the moments, that are so fatal. These are the suicidal episodes. But I won't let them win, I won't become a statistic, a sad news story, a corpse in a coffin, I will stay alive. All good things come to an end but all bad things do too.
If it's not OK, it's not the end.
I will fight this beast, this slug, this black dog, this demonic monster.
Tomorrow I'll be on top of the world.

Chin Up: Depression

A depressed person cannot put their chin up and just be happy. You can say to them "But you're loved, you have a job, a good life, family and friends" and that won't change anything. Someone who is down because of a job loss, bereavement or relationship problems has a reason to be down and they are down not depressed.
Depression does not care whether you are ugly or pretty, fat or thin, poor or rich. 
As Stephen Fry claims, mood is like the weather. It can change, it will get better, it cannot be controlled.
Depression is the thunderstorm, the rain, the snow. Happiness is the sunshine. 
Bipolar disorder/manic depression is the two extremes of moods. The dark dismal depression, where everything is rubbish and life is not worth living, and then the mania - when you are filled with thoughts and ideas, you believe you can solve the world's problems, become famous, write a book, you have loads of energy and cannot stay still, your mood elevates.
There is no point in getting annoyed at a depressed person for being depressed.
You wouldn't get annoyed at someone for having heart disease or cancer. There's no reason for someone to have cancer, just like there is no reason for someone to have depression. They just do.

                                         Stephen Fry talking about bipolar disorder

If you know someone who’s depressed, please resolve to never ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation; depression just is, like the weather. Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness, and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side.
It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it’s one of the kindest, noblest, and best things you’ll ever do.
-Stephen Fry

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/08/23/best-and-worst-things-depression-help_n_3802904.html