January Schofield

After reading Michael Schofield's book, January First, I felt compelled to write this post.

January First

January Schofield (known as Jani, or previously, Janni with double 'n's) was born on 8th August 2002 (8th August is also my birthday!) By the time she was six years old she was diagnosed with onset-childhood schizophrenia. 
'January First' is her father's poignant, moving account of the Schofield family's struggle to cope with the mental illness that was tearing apart their beloved daughter. 
I cried a lot whilst reading the book, however in the closing chapter which was written in July 2011, Michael says how Jani is now on medication that is helping a great deal, she is not so violent, and she has many more moments of happiness. 

Jani - just a sweet little girl.

I heard about Jani when I was on YouTube one day and a video popped up about 'America's schizophrenic child'. Jani was seemingly born mentally ill. A devastating article from The Mirror in October 2012 explains how Jani's younger brother, Bodhi, may also have schizophrenia, he has currently been diagnosed with autism. 
Jani barely slept as a baby and would look around at things that weren't there. She was an extremely imaginative child but by the age of five she was becoming violent, biting, scratching and hitting her parents like she was fighting for her life. Soon after Bodhi was born, Jani tried to attack and kill him. She also started hitting the family dog, Honey. Her imaginary friends were in fact hallucinations - telling her to hurt herself and her family. Jani was always a very clever child with a high IQ, she hated going by her real name 'January' and frequently changed it. She was very good with numbers and her imaginary friends often had names that were numbers, such as 400 the cat. After masses of medication was tried and different diagnoses were suggested, Jani was diagnosed with schizophrenia. 
Jani's father Michael had a mentally ill mother, and another relative who suffered with schizoprenia who ended up committing suicide. Susan, Jani's mother, had a relative who also had schizophrenia. As a child Michael had ADHD and as an adult suffered with chronic depression and reguarly took Lexapro, an anti-depressant.

The autobiography/tale of a family is so truthful and raw. I was crying when the family cried and smiling when they smiled. I felt so much for poor Jani, as she would never be able to have a normal life - go to school, college, get married, have children. The frustration and anger that Michael felt at Jani's schizophrenia for ruining her childhood/life was so obvious in the book, and I was also angry at the illness for ruining a young child's life. The ending is happy, as happy as it can be, as Jani is a lot better (although never will be fully better as there currently is no cure for schizophrenia). Michael saw it as: try and give Jani the best life we can, keep her alive, make sure she is happy. They were given Jani from God, Susan feels. Although there are challenges that come with looking after her, she is also their daughter, their child. She is gifted with extreme intelligence, but also beauty and when she is herself and not under psychotic behaviours, a lovely sweet little girl.

Jani's parents have set up a website, The Jani Foundation, which highlights mental illness in children and offers support for those suffering and their family.

A Bad Week For Humanity

Humans - are we our own worst enemy?

This week has been a terrible week for humanity. On Monday 20th May 2013 a deadly tornado swept the town of Moore, Oklahoma and left around 24 people dead, including 10 children. This was bad enough, with the town smashed to pieces and houses crumbled. Humanity didn't cause this tornado, it was nature, but the other hideous event of the week was caused by humans, if you can even call the killers 'human'. 
On Wednesday 22nd May 2013 a terrible twisted attack took place in Woolwich, London where an innocent British soldier was hacked to death by two Islamic extremists. Now there is obviously a huge backlash and uproar about what has happened and people are being extremely racist.

Nature can be deadly, but so can we.

This event did not happen because of religion, race or politics, regardless of what the killers said or think, it happened because they are clearly evil and twisted people and are trying to justify their disgusting actions with religion.
People are losing faith in humanity, which is only fair. We are horrible creatures; killing, torturing and hurting one another. Destroying our planet. But not ALL of us are evil. Generally as a population, yes we are, but if you break it down into groups there are the 'evil' people: murderers, rapists, child molesters, then there are the 'bad' people: thieves, attackers, criminals, but then there are the general public, the average people who carry on with their mundane daily lives and do not commit heinous acts. Humans are not all bad. 
The racism stemming from this attack is preposterous. Not all Muslims have ever or will ever commit such abominable acts. The killers clearly wanted fame and that is what we are giving them by talking about it so much, I know that is contradictory as I am writing a post about it, but I am defending groups of people who are now being discriminated against because they look like or believe similar things to these killers. Stop with the racism. 

David Burrowes MP: ‘I am a supporter of traditional marriage. Get over it!’

So, I got a reply from the homophobic bigot of an MP, David Burrowes. 

I was also contacted by a journalist for The Enfield Gazette, as David Burrowes in an MP for Enfield-Southgate, she wrote an article about my letter to him, his reply and my opinions on it, which was published in The Enfield Gazette.

When Sally Met Sally also published an article about David Burrowes' reply to my letter.

In my letter I stated that "Pro-marriage means you believe in marriage and want as many people as possible to participate in it; so how is excluding a whole group of people from the marital institution pro-marriage?"
Along with a lot of political waffle that didn't get to the point, he said "I am a supporter of traditional marriage. Get over it!"
Doesn't he realise what 'traditional' marriage means?
Women are slaves, if they're not virgins when married they can be beaten, fathers can sell their daughters for cows and goats, interracial relationships were illegal.
Does he support these archaic 18th century values?

Paraphrasing and playing on the LGBT charity Stonewall's famous 'Some people are gay, get over it' slogan seems to be rather childish. Couldn't he be more original?

He did not answer my question: "I would be extremely happy if you could explain to me how you believe you are not anti-gay".
Looking at his voting record, he seems to want to deny lesbian and gay people rights and does not think they should be protected against from homophobic hatred. As he voted against outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in 2007 and to prevent lesbians from having access to fertility treatment in 2008. Then against outlawing incitement to homophobic hatred in 2009. He doesn't appear to have voted on the Equality Act 2010 (which consolidated and extended the various bits of legislation on discrimination). He voted against same-sex marriage in 2013.

Come on Burrowes, admit it, you just don't like the gays.

Stop The Stigma Around Mental Health Issues

I hear the words "mental" and "psycho" and "schizo" being thrown around carelessly. 
What if you were one of those people who suffered with psychosis or schizophrenia?
The stigma around mental health illnesses has got to stop.
If someone has a broken leg or a black eye, people can see they are ill, but if you are mentally ill - no-one can tell. But those with psychological illnesses are still ill, they still need love and care and support.
In some ways illness of the mind can be worse than physical illness. It's harder to explain, it doesn't show and it is seen as 'strange'. Even in 2013 I still come across people who are prejudice against those with mental illnesses.
People with mental illness are not crazy, nor are they violent or hateful. They are not all suffering with the same condition. Not all depressives are suicidal, not all schizophrenics are violent, not all people with OCD are obsessive about hygiene.
So stop with the stigma. Think about it more. Research it. Support it. Mental health illnesses are not something to be ashamed of. Wipe-out stigma. Please. Start today.

The Truth About Depression

The black dog.
Down in the dumps.
The blues. 
It doesn't matter what you call it.
It's depression.
It sucks all the life from you and colours your world black. You see in black and white, you lose your appetite, all you want to do is sleep. Past hobbies and leisure activities become boring.
It is a killer, a life destroyer.
Bipolar disorder is also a life destroyer. It can have you crying one minute and laughing the next. Manic episodes result in hyper activity, a high sex drive and unlimited energy, however down episodes leave you wondering why you're alive and attempting to slit your wrist.
People tell those with depression to "Put your chin up" or "Look on the bright side". But it is not that simple. There is a chemical imbalance in their brain, their serotonin levels are low, they cannot control their mood. I'm sick of the stigma that surrounds depression. Everyone who judges depressed people, I guarantee if they had a while living with depression they'd soon change their judgement.

Marriage Versus Civil Partnerships

This whole gay marriage debate is still going on. I have previously posted 10 reasons why the government should allow equal marriage and my post with my poem about equal marriage but this is going to talk more about the fight between marriage and civil partnership. Have you heard Susan Calman's legendary comedic rant on gay marriage? At her wedding she wanted to march down the aisle to The Proclaimer's 'Let's Get Married' and have Pam Ayres' 'Yes I'll Marry You My Dear' read out but wasn't allowed, because it wasn't technically legally actually a marriage.
So there is marriage (civil marriage)...and there's civil partnerships (civil ceremonies, civil unions) but why aren't there same-sex marriages/gay marriages/equal marriage?
People say that gay people have equality because they can have a civil partnership - but no, the mere fact that it is called a 'civil partnership' rather than a 'marriage' illustrates that there is not equality.
"I'm married" sounds so much better than "I'm civil partnered" and "Mrs and Mrs" beats "Ms and Ms". "This is my wife" has a better ring to it than "This is my civil partner".
People argue that marriage should be kept 'traditional' but traditionally interracial couples could not marry, women were slaves and divorce was unheard of. Religious organisations say that allowing two men or two women to marry is going against God's view but what about secular atheist couples who marry? They are tied into a religious institution but don't believe in it.
Another argument: Marriage should be an institution that promotes in the birth of children. So we shouldn't let elderly, infertile or couples who don't wish to procreate have children? 
Marriage should be between a man and a woman. What about forced/arranged marriages? And straight couples who marry at 2am in Las Vegas as part of a drunken mistake. Couples who divorce not long after tying the knot.

Marriage v civil partnership:

What's the difference?

Is there a legal difference between the two?
The Civil Partnership Act 2004 gave same-sex couples the rights and responsibilities similar to those in a civil marriage. Civil partners are entitled to the same property rights, the same exemptions on inheritance tax, social security and pension benefits as married couples. They also have the same ability to get parental responsibility for a partner's children as well as reasonable maintenance, tenancy rights, insurance and next-of-kin rights in hospital and with doctors. There is a process similar to divorce for dissolving a civil partnership.

So why don't they have the same status under English law?

In 2006, Sir Mark Potter, president of the high court family division, told an academic lesbian couple that they faced an "insurmountable hurdle" in trying to have a same-sex marriage recognised in English law. He said marriage was regarded as an "age-old institution" that was "by long-standing definition and acceptance" a formal relationship between a man and a woman primarily designed for producing and rearing children. The couple, Celia Kitzinger and Sue Wilkinson, who were married in Canada and spent their life savings on the court battle, said they were deeply disappointed saying they had been "stripped" of their marriage.

Any practical differences in the ceremonies? Until now it has been banned for civil partnership ceremonies to include religious readings, music or symbols and forbidden for them to take place in religious venues, regardless of the views of the building's owners. In Scotland, which has its own legislation, some church parishes offer blessing ceremonies for same-sex couples.

Any other practical differences? Civil partners of male peers or knights do not receive a courtesy title to which the spouse of a peer or knight would be entitled.

Maybe we should allow straight couples to have civil partnerships so that non-religious couples don't have to buy into a once religious institution and liberal couples into a once racist and sexist institution. Equality means EVERYONE marries or EVERYONE civil partners, no separating and dividing. Marriage has changed over time so now it should change one little bit more.
Marriage should be about love not gender. If two people want to marry why stop them? Don't like gay marriage? Don't marry a gay, simple.

Article on When Sally Met Sally: Lesbian schoolgirl challenges anti-gay MP David Burrowes

We've been very impressed today by an A level student called Victoria Munro.

Victoria (17) from Southern England, who identifies as a lesbian, has challenged an MP on his claim that he's not anti-gay even though he has voted against equal rights for LGBT people on numerous occasions. 

She wrote to Enfield-Southgate MP David Burrows after he stated that he is “pro-marriage and not anti-gay” and that the majority of his constituents agree with him in opposing the same-sex marriage bill.

In her letter she questioned Burrowes’ voting record on LGBT issues, and said that his actions suggests that he is anti-gay, and questions how he can say he is “pro-marriage” if he wants to exclude a sector of society from the institution.

Here's her letter, as published in Pink News today: 

Dear David

I recently read this article on PinkNews’ website.

I just wanted to explain a few things to you. Having looked at your voting record since you entered parliament in 2005 I would conclude that you are very anti gay, having voted/or not voted: 

- against outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in 2007

- to prevent lesbians from having access to fertility treatment in 2008

- against outlawing incitement to homophobic hatred in 2009

- doesn’t appear to have voted on the Equality Act (which consolidated and extended the various bits of legislation on discrimination) in 2010

- against same-sex marriage in 2013

So you don’t want LGBT people to be able to get married or have children and you think discrimination against them is fine but you are still somewhat not ‘anti-gay’?

I am 17 and I identify as lesbian. I am one of the future generation. I believe everyone should be allowed to marry if they desire to, including the LGBT community. How is their love any less deserving or real than straight people’s? The only thing that undermines marriage is divorce, something straight people seem to be very good at.

I would be extremely happy if you could explain to me how you believe you are not anti-gay.

Another thing: don’t ever say you are not anti-gay just pro-marriage without really thinking about it. Pro-marriage means you believe in marriage and want as many people as possible to participate in it; so how is excluding a whole group of people from the marital institution pro-marriage?

I hope you take my points and views into account, as I may be just a 17-year-old-girl but I am someone and my opinion is valid, even if I am a ‘second-class, non-superior, gay person’.

Thank You

Kind Regards

Victoria Munro

A-Level student from Southern England

David Burrowes appeared on BBC 2’s Daily Politics and called for a referendum on same-sex marriage. Earlier this week he warned that the same-sex marriage bill resembles the shark in the 1970s thriller movie, Jaws.

The House of Commons will debate the bill as part of its third reading from next Monday.

Victoria Munro is already an active writer and LGBT activist. She has already published two books: Kiss Chase (for 15+ readers) which tells the story of a young lesbian coming to terms with her sexuality after the sudden death of her mother; and Silver Lining (a story for 11+ readers). 

In an interview with the Daily Echo, she described how she was bullied at school because of her sexuality and once even tried to take an overdose. But she "overpowered" the bullying with a "tremendous sense of standing up for herself and others' rights", and set up an online support group and wrote a book.

After school, Victoria plans to study English and creative writing at university. 

Well done Victoria! We have a feeling we're going to be hearing a lot more from her in future! 

Check out Victoria's website HERE 

Article from When Sally Met Sally on 15 May 2013

Is pop music killing the music industry or inspiring our outcast younger generation?

Music in the charts these days is primarily pop. I can empathise with the people who sigh and sigh and say “I don’t know what music is coming to! All this trash in the charts”.

However pop isn't all bad.

I frequently have arguments with my brother - a lover of rock music, when he argues that pop singers are talentless and just follow one another like sheep. I can understand where he is coming from - a lot of the latest pop songs are just the same endless beat being played over and over, however there are some exceptions. Some pop artists do actually write their own songs and the song coveys a view, meaning or emotion.

Some examples I can give you would be: Jessie J and Lady Gaga. Jessie J’s songs each hold a different emotion and are very influential to the teenage mind. ‘Be true to who you are’ these soothing lines can heal so many different youngsters, all feeling outcast and freakish for various reasons.

When all the fuss kicked off and Lady Gaga became famous, it seemed to be love or hate, like Marmite  and I will admit at first did not like her. She was pulling in millions for these ‘same old’ songs. But then ‘Born this way’ came out and changed my whole perspective of her. She was like Jessie J, another singing that wants equality. ‘Born this way’ also applies to a whole spectrum of teenagers, she even quotes: Whether life’s disabilities left you outcast, bullied or teased, rejoice and love yourself today cause’ baby you were born this way. No matter gay, straight or bi, lesbian transgendered life, I'm on the right track baby I was born to survive’.

Now, you can’t say this line isn't helping to boost teenagers self worth, confidence and esteem.

Lady Gaga

Life’s too short - it’s the simple things that count

Life’s too short - it’s the simple things that count. Life is short.
 That’s the reality. And the majority of people (mostly the non-religious that don’t believe in the afterlife or reincarnation) would say that you only live once. As I go from day to day, I regularly hear people complaining about things they've done, things they regret and mistakes they have made. I never really hear them planning for the future. For a child or teenager, life stretches out forever, like it will never end. But it will. With the hectic hustle and bustle of work, everyday life takes over and we forget to enjoy the simple pleasures, the little moments in life where you just feel a sense of elation. So, here is a little list, not of grand plans such as ‘win the lottery’ and ‘meet the Queen’ but simple joys and delights that we take for granted.

• Enjoy nature. Many people moan ‘What a typical English summer day, cold and rainy’ or ‘ I'm way too hot’ or ‘Not snow again, how will I get to work?’ - no one ever stops to notice the sheer beauty of a emerald green forest or a the dazzling sunset, blue sky on a warm summers day, a village blanketed in snow and frozen in ice.
• Let your loved ones know you love them - you don’t know what you've got til you lose it. So true. So many people argue or fight and the next thing they know that person they just called a ‘bitch’ has been run over by a car or suffered a fatal heart attack. Never go to bed angry or leave someone on an argument as that might just be the last time you ever see them. 
• Realise you are lucky and there are so many people worse off than you. That is the golden rule.

The Recession And Population Overload

Youth unemployment is rising as fast as Concorde used to fly, house prices are extortionate and shops are closing down. Nothing is changing, unless it’s for the worst. It does not seem fair that the future generation will miss out on many of the things the last generation took for granted such as buying a house, owning a car.

The majority of our parents have managed to settle themselves comfortably, yet we are stuck in a rut, the only safe place to be seems to be in education, either school or sixth form college, perhaps university - but that carries the load of thousands of pounds worth of debt and a degree that doesn't even guarantee you a job.

As my parents discuss ‘the good old days’, I actually wish I lived then. Although the world is a more open minded place and much fairer than then, at least you could leave school without even having to attend college or university and there would be jobs waiting for you.

The average age for someone to own their own place (don’t forget the ongoing mortgage) is around 35. Our kids will be stuck at home, on unemployment benefits, getting overweight from cheap junk food, is this we really want for our future?

The news has becoming such a gloomy and depressing feature in our lives as we switch on the TV, at 7.30am, sleep still in our eyes, hair sticking up, having to face yet another long day at work.

It’s getting to a point that thousands of people are applying for a post for say 100 jobs. Is this population overload or is this the government seriously lacking control and intelligence?

Maybe we should limit every parent to just having one child, try and decrease the ever-growing population, because quite frankly - with no jobs around, is it worth bringing another person into the world who will just one day be sat at home on unemployment benefits like the rest of us?

Yesterday a letter came through my door. The government are making water meters compulsory. It is due to the ever-growing population, so therefore a growing demand for water. Instead of paying monthly and either using lots of water or very little, you will now pay for each drop you use, which - if you live in a large family, is bad news, and if you live say by yourself and use very little, is good news.

Water is scarce, jobs are scarce, and human beings are so so far from scarce.

I can hear you cursing at me as I drill you with these harsh opinions, but the truth is - humans want to feel special, and that’s why when you go to a huge city such as London, swarming with different people, different types of people, fat, thin, black, white, tall, small, gay, straight, you feel horribly insignificant as you realise quite shockingly how many billions of people there really are on this little planet.

It’s a small world. And we are filling it on a daily basis with more people. That’s natural, I hear you say, we were designed to reproduce. However there are various types of animals that once they start to overpopulate either contract a deadly disease to wipe half of them out, or they simply cannot conceive for a while, until the population dies down.

We have evolved so much, taken over the planet. We are now doing so many unnatural things, scientific experiments, such as cloning, IVF, artificial insemination, mixing certain types of animals or foods together to create a different outcome, so surely, at such an advanced stage we are intelligent enough to realise that enough is enough? It is getting serious. Maybe the lack of jobs is due to the population overload and not the credit crunch, recession, depression, economical downfall, global meltdown or whatever you want to call it.

I’m no politician, nor a scientist, I admit that, and these are at the end of the day my own opinions, but surely some of it makes sense?

Doesn’t it?

Is Censorship In The Media Necessary?

Have you ever been listening to the radio, humming along to a song, or singing if you know all the words…only to hear a huge beep in the middle of a lyric?

Censorship is everywhere in the media. Programmes after 9pm at night are for adult’s eyes only.

Children cannot take certain books out of the library because they have to be of a certain age to read them, films have age certificates for the cinema, so for example a 12 year old cannot see a certificate 15 film at the cinema, however they can easily go round their ‘mates’ house and watch it there, illegally.

Society is trying to protect its minors from bad words and shocking scenes yet we still have an enormous crime rate, thousands of teenage pregnancies and high anti social teenage behaviour.

Censoring may be working the opposite way in the media. Children’s access to the internet is easier now than before, and youngsters are learning so-called ‘grown up stuff’ younger than they ever have been…So is censorship really working? It seems to me that half the media is censored and the internet is not, surely it’s better to censor everything or nothing? Otherwise inappropriate words, scenes and images will only leak through the censor sieve that the government is trying to use.

Maybe if children were not shielded from swear words and adult scenes in films then they might not seek to find out adult information.

Most children are now discovering the facts of life and the business of ‘the birds and the bees’ long before their PSHE lessons at primary school.

Children are longing to grow up quicker; 12 year olds now wear three layers of foundation, high heels and short skirts. The last generation of children still wore ankle swingers and took rucksacks to school

The legal age for consent, for a teenager to lose their virginity is 16; however most teenagers are actually just children when they do.

So the question I’m asking is: is censorship really that necessary after all?

Poetry: It's not all old fashioned rubbish

Take a trip down memory lane…back to English GCSE, at school. Can you recall the day your teacher muttered the words “We’re doing poetry?" I can, and I vividly remember a gigantic groan rippling from around the room, comments, grunts and sighs.

But half these people didn't even know what poetry really was…they all believed it was written by 18^th century kings declaring their undying love for their wives.

If you actually take a look at poetry, various types in its different shapes and forms you will discover it’s not all boring mumbo jumbo - it actually means something.

Have you ever tried writing poetry? It’s actually rather therapeutic…it doesn’t matter how bad or good you are at it, but give it a go - humorous, serious, a love poem, whatever you want!

Letting your emotions and feelings out, onto a page, styling your thoughts, drawing your dreams, and looking back at the masterpiece (or not) that you’ve created.

The well known phrase: don’t judge someone before you know them, well I believe that phrase applies to poetry. Imagine it is a person. Boring and dull on the outside, a plain face with grey hair, not much to say and a monotone voice. But dig beneath the surface and you will discover so many interesting and exciting facts. The guy you thought was happily married actually has 2 families and has been stealing from his company - the woman you assumed stayed in every Saturday night watching TV soaps is actually a multi millionaire with a house in LA.

It’s the same with poetry, the surface seems boring, but dig a lot deeper and you’ll discover gold.

As you pull apart the words in the poem, you realise that there are several meanings, hidden stories that you never knew existed. Many older poems illustrate this idea. They appear to be about something very simple, but actually have many complications and confusions running through them.

So don’t judge poetry, get to know it, have a go at it, and then if you still detest it, then you can groan and mumble “Oh, no, not poetry!"

Inequality: Why do footballers get paid so much?

I still ponder this question as I turn on my TV to catch a glimpse of some young sweaty men racing round a pitch after a leather ball. I still can’t believe they get paid an absolute bomb to burn off a few calories, whilst there are still children in Africa clutching their swollen malnutritioned stomach and walking miles to get a droplet of water.

The world has its priorities wrong.

What is so great about football anyway?

Men seem to love it. Every World Cup or Euro event you can almost taste the tension in the air, as they sit themselves down at their local pub, grab a pint and a packet of peanuts and prepare themselves for what they believe is possibly the most ‘important match of the year’.

Killjoy, I hear you whisper. Yes, maybe I am, I understand football can unite countries and pull together nations and all that corny crap, but if you dig down into the surface, is it really doing the world any favours?

Maybe, we should start to think not about the millions of pounds being wasted on men that already have a few million in the bank, and instead the poor poverty stricken children that lay with growling stomachs under the scorching sun.

Do Wayne Rooney or David Beckam really need that extra few grand or could it be given to a young child trying to care for their dying mother?

At a time when sport is so important, in the year 2012, with the Olympics and the Euro 2012 not many people are going to agree with my negative view against the game. They believe the Olympics is showing off London’s greatest gems and England’s achievements and beauties, I simply believe it is all a rather big waste of money. How many years have they spent slaving over the Olympic sight, how many thousands of pounds has been spent to ensure that the jumping, swimming, running and cycling goes to plan?

Could this money be better spent? Don’t we have enough problems on our plate, with the recession? I understand the Olympics may be taking some people’s minds off the issues we are facing, but that is called burying your head in the sand, or rather the sandpit. Surely we should be trying to aid poverty and pump a bit of money into the economy rather than blow it all on a big event that will be over in a couple of months?

I can see the proud English citizens shaking their heads in fury at my suggestion and stating ‘This is the first time in years that we have had the Olympics in our country’ and yes I do understand that, but rather than glorifying our own country couldn't we try to help another that is still suffering?

So next time you settle down on your sofa, in your central heated lounge, with a cup of tea boiled from your kettle, and switch off your lights, and take a biscuit from the metal tin, think about all those people less fortunate as you as you watch the lads zoom around the pitch, shouting, sometimes swearing, sweating and swaggering in an attempt to score goals and save goals and get a few hearts pounding and pulses racing.

Written by Victoria Munro in 2012 for AS English Language course.

Pro-Marriage But Not Anti-Gay: I Don't Think So

So I click open my emails and find an email news update from PinkNews about the MP David Burrowes. He quoted that "I am not anti-gay just pro-marriage". I found this statement ridiculous and clicked onto the link to read the full article. Basically the MP was saying that he supported civil partnerships but did not approve of same-sex couples entering into marriage because it is 'for a man and a woman'. 

"I support civil partnerships so much so that I do not see the need to change marriage to encompass same-sex couples when it has always existed as a distinctive relationship between a man and a woman" David Burrowes.

Well I proceeded to argue with his point and sent him an email explaining why you cannot be pro-marriage but only for straight people and not anti-gay.

I researched his voting record only to discover he voted for/against:

• Against outlawing discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in 2007
• To prevent lesbians from having access to fertility treatment in 2008
• Against outlawing incitement to homophobic hatred in 2009
• He doesn't appear to have voted on the Equality Act (which consolidated and extended the various bits of legislation on discrimination) in 2010
• Against same-sex marriage in 2013

So it appears that he doesn't want LGBT people to be able to get married or have children and he thinks that discriminating against them is fine but he is not anti-gay. This does not make any sense whatsoever. 

I emailed him my angry yet well-mannered composition of ideas and beliefs and then sent it to PinkNews. They said it was a "strongly written letter" and posted it on their website. 

I am now waiting for David's reply, may he send one. I looked him up on Twitter and discovered that he believes: "There must be safeguards for religious freedom in the Same Sex Marriage Bill. And a referendum".

I informed David that "I am 17 and I identify as lesbian. I am one of the future generation. I believe everyone should be allowed to marry if they desire to, including the LGBT community".

I went on to question: "How is their (LGBT people's) love any less deserving or real than straight people's? The only thing that undermines marriage is divorce, something straight people seem to be very good at".

I was annoyed by his use of the term 'pro-marriage'. Someone who is pro-marriage would believe strongly in the marital institution and want as many people as possible to take part it in, so how is excluding a whole group of people from the marital institution pro-marriage?

Using the 'I support marriage' argument in an equal marriage bill is not rational. If you support marriage you must believe it is best for everyone. Claiming you are 'pro-marriage' but not 'anti-gay' is like saying you are vegetarian but don't mind eating pork when it suits you. 

Come on David, think about it; are you really in favour of civil partnerships? Are you really not 'anti-gay'? I don't think so...you're just a bigot covering your homophobia with pro-marriage blankets.

I later found that When Sally Met Sally had published a similar article on their website and I contacted them and they have arranged to publish my blog posts/for me to write posts to be published on their website. Woo!

Is Feminism Necessary?

Is feminism still necessary in the year 2013 - the 21st century?

Yes.
Women may have more rights than they used to (thanks to the suffragettes) however they are still not fully equal with men. Just take a look at the media; it is filled with images of how women should look - big boobs, blonde hair, hairless legs and underarms. This is all for male sexual pleasure. Women are now adhering to the norms of society such as shaving their legs and getting rid of pubic hair and although it is a personal choice to do so, the pressure on women to conform to these beauty stereotypes shows that we still need feminist ideas.
Although women generally are paid the same as men they are still not paid the exact same and they are socialised to venture into careers that are traditionally feminine such as nursing, teaching and catering - and these careers all pay less than the traditional masculine jobs such as working with science, mathematics and businesses. 
Women are still seen as property, just in a sexual way. The constant bombardment of the media does not help this. Films, TV programmes and novels all illustrate women as sex items, music videos in particular.
The aspirations of women have changed. It is now socially acceptable to want to gain a high achieving career rather than to marry and have children - this is a positive step in the right direction. However a lot of women do marry and have children (not that there is anything wrong with that) but the Marxist feminist belief of this is that: women are churning out new workers (children) for the Bourgeoisie and their husbands come home after a day's work and have a warm bath (this theory is called the 'warm bath theory') and are served dinner by their wife, they release their anger and tension at home so when they go to work the next day they are a good worker and the Bourgeoisie benefit from this.  
I'm not a radical feminist - I don't want a matriarchy and I don't believe the world is patriarchal in its entirety but I do believe our society is male dominated. Men are still seen as the better sex, the more powerful sex. 
I am a liberal feminist; I simply want equality between men and women (and LGBT people and straight people).
Feminism is still necessary.
There was a big uproar on Twitter when Tesco released a card that read 'Gleny's had heard all about sexual harassment in the workplace and deliberately wore a short dress with a plunging neckline to ensure she didn't miss out'. Apparently this card was meant to be humorous, I don't see how it is, it is simply promoting sexual harassment, objectifying of women and even rape. WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS. Their role is not just to cook, clean, pop put babies and give men sexual satisfaction. We are more than that; we are intelligent, beautiful, smart, funny and kind (well a lot of us, not all, sadly). 
We endure the pains of periods and childbirth, which men do not, and that alone means we deserve respect. How would you (men) like to have blood leaking from you every month and a stomach that feels like it is being kicked multiple times? How would you like to have to squeeze a human being out of you? Think about that next time to are about to refer to women are as one of the following sexist names: slag, slut, whore, Missus, damaged goods, spinster, and I'm sure there's many more.

Religion Versus Homosexuality

It seems that people think if you are religious you can't support homosexuals and if you are homosexual you can't be religious but that is not the case.

"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination".

 "Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals".

The Bible may quote that 'being gay is wrong' but it also quotes that you should not work on a Sunday, eat shellfish, have a haircut or get divorced.
The term 'homosexual' didn't even mean someone who was attracted to someone of the same sex when quoted in the bible.

Besides if you're going to take the bits about being homosexual is a sin literally then you have to take the love, tolerance and acceptance literally.

If God made everyone then God made gay people too - and if he loves everyone then he loves gay people as well.
Why are we more upset at two men holding hands than guns? God would have more things to be angry about such as murder, rape, child abuse, poverty and genocide than two women kissing.
Why would a god be anti-love? There's enough hate in this would so if two men want to get married why can't we just let them?

You can be gay and religious. Many people are. 
I was Christened and as a child I was very Christian in my beliefs but now aged 17 I am a complete atheist. I do have some faith; it is just in the form of fate, karma and soulmate beliefs etc.
The sad thing is; anti-gay religious beliefs are what pushed me away from religion. It was not only that - I started to doubt any form of deity and I questioned: why would God let bad things happen? Especially to good people.
It seems that religion is just here because we are scared of how we came to be and what happens after we die. When a loved one dies we both become angry and question why God would allow this to happen but also picture our loved one up in heaven.
I don't believe in life after death; heaven, hell, reincarnation, any of it.
I believe you should live this life to the full, not dwell on your post-death existence...

Bed In Your Head

I've never understood the obsession with lesbian sex. Adolescent males are fascinated by the fact that two women actually have sex - they ask you "Who's the male?" "Urm, neither of us, we're women!"
Everyone wants to know how lesbians have sex. By now I would've thought there were more interesting things happening in the world that two women being in bed with each other - but apparently not. It's almost guaranteed that if you come out as lesbian as then you will get many questions about your personal sex life.
No-one asks a straight woman "What do you and your husband do in bed?" so why ask lesbians?
To be brutally honest lesbians do what everyone else does, just minus one piece of 'equipment' (a penis). They kiss, they cuddle, they have sex. I am not going to outright explain on this blog how they proceed to have sex but all I am going to say is they can and they do and no they don't want men to watch or join in, they are lesbians (the clue is in the word - women that are attracted to other women, not men). 
I don't know how long this fascination with female sex will last. I can see the mesmirisation in teenage boy's eyes as they think to themselves: what do women do in bed?
At school when I was out I became the knowledge of all things lesbian. People assumed I knew everything and anything about lesbian desires just because I was gay. I would get asked ridiculous, personal and downright rude questions - but I never asked the straight girls how many times they'd had sex or who was the dominant one in their relationship.
Enough with the lesbian sex obsession - if you really wanna know just Google it; but be aware that you may just get some embarrassing results - and clear your search history after...you don't wanna get caught on that one, Mum might wonder why you've searched 'How do lesbians have sex?'

Kiss Chase

The idea behind the novel has been in my head for years but I never actually put it down on paper. I started writing a novel in 2011 when I was on holiday in Greece but gave up, I tried again that August, as my plan for the summer of 2011 was to write a book. It ended up happening in the summer of 2012.

I started it on July 17th 2012, in a notebook and I wrote it up as I went along and uploaded it onto my notes section on Facebook and onto a group I had created for 'fans' of the book. I finished the book in September 2012 and it was published in October 2012. It is available on Amazon UK and US and also many other online book stores.
The book is primarily about a teenage girl called Joanna who is still greiving for the sudden death of her mother and trying to cope with her father's psychological abuse. Her older brother, Frankie, is mischevious and into drugs and alcohol, as when their mother died he spiralled into deviant behaviour. Joanna is trying to navigate the choppy waters of love and sexuality and the book is about her 'kiss chase' and search for the right person.
The standard blurb
Seventeen-year-old Joanna is still dealing with the aftermath of her mother's sudden death, and trying to cope with her grief stricken father when she becomes entangled in a web of love,friendship and heartbreak on the painful yet joyful journey to discover who she is and what she wants. I am unsure whether I will write a sequel to Kiss Chase. There are a lot of loose ends in the finale of the novel so a sequel is an idea.
The Characters
They are not based particularly on real life people, they are as follows:
Joanna-the main character
Joanna is a shy and reserved person. She loves escapism and her hobbies illustrate that; reading, writing and listening to music are her ways of escaping and dealing with her life. She is confused about her sexuality and is also still devistated about her mother's sudden death as she was extremely close to her mother.
Frankie-her brother
Frankie is a deviant and criminal young adult. He often steals, drinks, does drugs and steals, but these are all his ways of coping with his life and his mother's death. He doesn't get on well with his father and has low self esteem but makes up for it by gaining status elsewhere, especially in criminal activity. He fancies Grace from the minute he sets his eyes on her and his sexual instict overwhelms his sibling loyatly to Joanna.
Frank-her father
Frank was not always such a horrid person but since his wife's death he has turned bitter. He psychologically and emotionally abuses his children, in particular Joanna, and copes with his grief by sleeping with many different women, smoking and drinking.
Izzy-her best friend (and more)
Izzy is scared that she might be gay. Her parents are strict Catholics and would never put up with nonsense 'lesbian activity'. She knows she loves Joanna but also knows it cannot work. She is a beautiful yet mysterious character.
Grace-the girl she meets at college (Grace is based lightly on the character of 'Sugar' a.k.a Maria Sweet from Julie Burchill's Sugar Rush).
Grace is everything Joanna wishes she was. Confident, outgoing, enthusiastic and wild. She doesn't care much for rules and responsibilities and would rather live life to the full by drinking, smoking and being promiscuous. She is bisexual but manages to ruin the label of bisexual people by being polygamous. 

Want to ask me a question? You can always email me! 
Do you want to buy Kiss Chase?

Coming Out

Even the dreaded two words 'coming out' are enough to scare even the gayest of gays to curl up and pretend to be a heterosexual. 
I remember when I came out, as most gay people do, it was terrifying - I told my friends first, over MSN, they were okay with it, luckily. Then my year group found out, I was in Year 10, and suddenly my sexuality because the gossip, the news, the "Have you heard?" topic. My Mum reacted amazingly well to my news, I told her via letter (the coward's way 'out'). 
I put this letter under her bed and went up to my Dad's to stay the night with my brother, as we did most Saturdays. The next day we went to the beach, and Mum didn't mention my letter straight away, so I was procrastinating if she got it or not, what did she think? Then she turned to me when we were lying on the towels with the August sun beating down on us and said "I got your letter!"
I burst into tears; I don't know why, it was all the emotions flying around my heart and head. She said the usual "I will love you no matter what" - which I was ecstatic to hear, and then she asked how long had I known, was it a phase, who had I told, how did I know.
I told my Dad that October (2009). Sadly he didn't react half as well, he refused to believe his daughter was a lesbian, he has just about got to terms with it now, but I know he isn't happy about it. Now everyone knows, I don't hide the fact I'm gay, on my Facebook it is pretty obvious - it says interested in women for a start, I have all these LGBT photos, quotes, pages, groups etc. It's always hard when you meet new people because you have to come out all over again. When I started college in 2011 I didn't know whether to be really open about my sexuality or to not tell anyone. In the end I didn't advertise it, nor did I hide it, if the subject came up I slipped it in there.

A few ways I told people:

My counsellor: Me: "Someone put on Facebook that I was gay". (Someone actually did this which was a pretty bastardly thing to do).
Counsellor: "Are you gay?" Me: "Yes".
My friend:
Me: "It's not that I don't want to tell you who it is I like, it's just it's their gender".
A girl in one of my classes:
Me: "I'm gay", yes it was that simple.

A few tips for coming out:

• Make sure you are 100% sure of your sexuality before you tell people. If you're kind of sure you're a lesbian but also think you might actually be bisexual wait until you know for sure.
• Don't expect the person you tell to react well immediately. Although this is horrible, it is often the case. Your parents, for example, may cry to begin with and mourn the marriage and children they want you to have but after a while they might be absolutely fine with it. Also - just because you are gay doesn't mean you can't get married and have children. It will just be slightly different.
• Pick a good time. Not in the middle of an argument/driving/a funeral (although no-one sane would choose a funeral to come out at). Good times include: family meal, family occasions such as birthdays and Christmas and holidays.

When Sally Met Sally published this post on their website on 20th May 2013.